The Days are Getting Longer (…and that’s a good thing).

I’m no conspiracy theorist and I only rant on occasion but is there any chance we can stop calling it ‘Climate Change’ and go back to ‘Global Warming’? Arguably the climate has always changed. We have had ice ages, then warmer periods, then back to an ice age again but I think the evidence suggests this is now a warming period. Let’s go around the world.

So Australia just had their hottest year ever. This is a country that comedian Dylan Moran quoted was “Located three quarters of a mile from the surface of the sun” – or words to that effect. Australia doesn’t really do cold summers at any time but those records were surprising. It’s true that Irish comedians and sunshine wouldn’t go together but twenty consecutive days of 45 degrees plus would melt anybody. And how about Canada? Over Christmas they didn’t get their usual meters and meters of powdery snow. What they got was an increase in freezing rain and wet snow which was caused by warmer winter temperatures. The 2013 ice storm was the result. Hundreds of trees around Toronto have been irreparably damaged by the storm. They’ve stood through centuries of snow, so why now?  It doesn’t stop there though. The Category 5 super typhoon (SSHWS) Haiyan (also known as ‘Yolanda’) that devastated the Philippines has also had its near unprecedented intensity attributed to climate change.

Australia…’located three quarters of a mile from the surface of the sun’.

And finally on the state of our local climate: As I scoured the Irish papers today I noticed pictures showing the waters of the Liffey higher than I have ever seen them. Are they the highest ever? Perhaps not, but with more rain on the way they soon will be. Don’t worry folks there’s no such thing as ‘Global Warming’. We were told that when they changed the name to ‘Climate Change’ so don’t worry your pretty little heads about it.

That said, do invest in a houseboat though. If you live in equatorial climes then I think aluminium dinghy would be all you need. If you want to get fancy you can buy a Fisher Price Playhouse and use it as a cabin and don’t forget to take two of each animal with you. I’m no weather scientist though, I just tend to look out the window and see who’s floating by so don’t take my word for it. There will always be a scientific paper out there that disproves this theory or that but what I do suggest to you is be prepared for any eventuality. That’s just being practical.

Now that I’ve scared you, one thing weather related that I am greatful for, is that the days are getting longer again. We are the right side of Christmas and while there will be many in Ireland experiencing that solemn January hibernation where we sit inside and let our livers grow back, I will be rubbing my hands with glee knowing that summer is on the way. Will it get to 45 degrees this year? Maybe down in Costa Del Courtown. So dust off your boogie board, paint on your factor 90 and bring enough coins for Pirates Cove Crazy Golf – Summers on the Way!!!