The Hasselhoff Channel

As a child of the eighties I’m just going to keep coming at you with these nostalgic digressions. By no means do these posts suggest I think life was better then. Perhaps it was simpler…but better? I spent a lot of the eighties dissing the eighties so it seems strange to think I quote so much from that time. However, as they say ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ and the eighties get further away with the passing of each year.

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David Hasselhoff – A man from the 80’s with really strong hair.

I am still hoping that Sky will come up with a channel to indulge all those eighties TV shows. I know there are channels out there that show some of the golden oldies but a channel that screens wall to wall eighties shows might well be as heartwarming as a twenty five year old mug of Bournvita (and just as refreshing). But what to call this channel? Back when they were screened, these were genuinely followed series with the viewer poised and at the ready at least five minutes before the start time with the channel button pressed (that’s right pressed…remote controls were invented in the fifties but in New Zealand small children were used to change the channel and adjust the volume right up until the late eighties – It took time for remote technology to propagate the globe). There was no watching the whole series in a day’s marathon. It was one episode at a time for six months and in little old NZ we received tv shows up to a year after they were screened (they are still a year behind with Coronation street for some reason). The mad thing is that no one in New Zealand knew ‘who shot J.R.?’ in Dallas but you would think someone had already seen it in the states a year before could have spread the rumour like wildfire spoiling the surprise but no. We are a polite breed downunder and the sole Kiwi that went to North America that year (probably the Prime Minister) kept the killer’s identity close to their chest. I know, I know where is this going?

Ah yes, the name for my channel. Well here are some ideas…

The Dated Network – Lets tell it like it is. You get what you get. On second thought, it sounds like people cast aside from dating shows that didn’t get picked to go on a weekend away or walk into the sunset with their soulmate…scratch that.

Eightie’s Matey’s – Has some rhythmic merit but little else. Actually it’s a little vomit inducing. I want to see these shows but only in passing. They are not exactly my long lost mates.

The Hangover Network – This might work. Saturday afternoon hangover, cant get off the sofa. Only bad scripts, bad acting and really proud hairdo’s will do.

Hasselhoff – Perhaps my channel should be named after a true eightie’s television icon. Dirk Benedict springs to mind with starring roles in ‘The A-Team’ and ‘Battlestar Galactica’ but no. Only one surname truly epitomises that era. And David Hasselhoff (Knight Rider/Baywatch) owns it. My only criteria would be that any screened show spent part of the eighties on air.

And what would I screen first on my new channel. Well THIS of course!!

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